Psalm of Lament
The staff was raised high
and I was holding my breath,
Expectant to feel strong winds,
to hear the sounds of miracles,
The roar of might and glory present,
The confirmation that He was there.
But God did not part the waters.
My feet on the edge,
Ready to make that very first step,
That was to culminate numerous previous steps
–
Of faith
– a journey of calling,
of obedience
and of letting go.
Letting go so that I can let Grace
Take me,
Fill me,
Straighten me,
Lead me to
Lift my staff above the raging waters.
But God did not part the waters.
My feet on the edge,
Ready to make the next step,
Ready to step on the dry land between the parted roaring sea,
I had faith!
I was ready!
I had dreamed!
But God did not part the waters.
What do I do with these questions, oh Lord?
What do I do with my saddened heart?
What do I do with the wrenching disappointment?
What do I do with You?
God did not part the waters.
Your work in me takes time.
Longer time in me than in others –
it seems.
For my waiting feels forever prolonged.
Why?
Why, oh God,
why do you have me waiting?
God did not part the waters.
Aren’t You the One who led me here?
Is this not exactly where you wanted me?
Did you not ask me to lift my hand high above the waters?
Was I a fool to follow?
Was I a fool to believe?
Was I a fool to close my eyes and
say yes?
God did not part the waters.
My hand held high,
Staff raised above the raging waters,
Nothing but silence,
Heart pounding,
Sweat dripping,
Eyes wide open
Because Glory has never truly disappointed,
I will stand here,
Hand held high,
In worship and surrender,
In adoration even when I don’t understand,
Waiting to hear what’s next.
Because God did not part the waters.
I will keep standing here,
For this is the only thing that I know to do:
Feet on the edge,
Looking over the waters,
Because God did not part the waters…
YET!
Jan 23, 2022
23:17 @Home
Written on a heavy night, when I was quarantining for covid, instead of being in Uganda for the Lifesprings School of Ministry.
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